There are some things that God has most definitely given me.
A knowledge of self, the apparent incapacity for an emotional comfort bubble, and the inability to put my heart anywhere else but on my sleeve, and a deep and irrefutable desire to understand or at least be able to love on those I come into contact with.
And the majority of life, I’ve seen all of those things as weaknesses.
I thought once that I might be a strong young woman with a lion heart. I tried my best to have a shell, but if you know how, it’s really not hard to cut me to my core. Besides, trying to have the shell that I thought would be ideal was rather… well, it made me bitter though it was at first affective. Unfortunately it kept the good out as well as the bad.
There was a middle- aged man named Eddie who had Downs that I met while waiting for a bus on a cool day after some grocery shopping. Walking towards me with a new copy of Fame on blue-ray dvd, he saw me and walked right up to me and started talking to me about his love for the movie and all the dancing there was in it. He continued on about how he’d ordered it and it’d finally come in and how nice the sales people were for helping him and holding it for him. I also love dance, and our conversation continued on as though we’d been friends for a while. We got on to the half-filled bus, and I sat down and he came over and sat down right next to me so we could continue talking. He asked if I could read the packaging to him and I obliged. He then asked if I could take the plastic off so he could observe the inside. I again obliged. And all the while I was conversing with him, my heart was breaking. I almost started crying right then and there, because we (and this is a generally we as a society) need people like Eddie so desperately badly, but we are so quick to discard him because of some things he deals with.
I love people who come and talk with me about how I’m doing, or my day, or just want to strike up a friendly conversation about life. But to be honest, I get nervous around others sometimes because I’m not sure if what I want to talk about is something they will even consider talking about never mind want to.
Eddie had every right to be nervous and bitter because of how people may have treated him in the past. And yet he was so, so kind and has been such a blessing in my life even though I was around him for only 15 minutes.
I want to be like Eddie. I want people to walk away from me feeling like they’re appreciated and have had a breath of fresh air. I want people to walk away feeling like a better person: more inspired, more encouraged, understood, appreciated, loved, cared about.
My brother, Eddie, and my Father who created Him,
Thank you. I am inspired and encouraged because of you. And I will never forget how you blessed me. I pray that you use my “weaknesses” to bless others and bring glory to You. I pray that one day I stop seeing Your gifts as weaknesses, and that they are intentional and purposeful, and beautiful.